[This story is related to Curious George]
I swing the trees with huge curiosity
with only the ground
solid and cold
as my support to catch me if I fall
My surroundings keep me thinking
with all mother nature
balanced and resilient
waiting for me to explore
for that I shall
With my fellow companion
yellow suit and hat
cares for me if I were his own
replacing the trees
and solid ground
Still Adventure fuels me
with wide imagination
so much to discover
for I shall hover beside the trees
metaphorically
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Why hello there Darian!
ReplyDeleteI have to say that my first impression of your poem was "WOW!"
I can actually see the Curious George in you when I read this. Very well written. I love how you use evocative language, such as huge curiosity, mother nature, fellow companion, yellow suit and hat, wide imagination, and hover beside the trees. It really helps the reader to identify the allusion that you used. It also describes the allusion very well.
Also, you were able to show your personality through Curious George. Good job!
Keep it up! :D
Darian, this iss sooo cute
ReplyDeleteI really could imagine you in the first portion of your poem, I imagined you breaking with the solid ground to catch you.
You did a really good job in choosing an allusion that fits nicely with your personality,
Hi Darian,
ReplyDeleteand hey, didn't you use a monkey for your metaphor poem, too? ;>
You've done a nice job with the Curious George allusion. Here are my recommendations for your revision:
I would add "who" in the line "cares for me..."
And I would revise the last two lines of the poem. I don't think a monkey would "hover"...that's like what a helicopter does...
and although you did "monkey around" metaphorically in last year's poem, the word does not apply in this poem.
Let me know if you have questions...looking forward to the graphic :)
mrs s